5 Reasons why I hate snow

1. I don’t actually hate snow. Snow stirs up very little emotion in me. Yes it looks pretty. And it makes driving tricky. But to me they cancel out. So therefore its not snow I hate. This is another excuse to show my hatred of the general public.

2. Transport. Lots of moans about how the transport infrastructure falls apart after a few inches of the stuff. Oh trains are not prepared for it. Yes, surprisingly they are not. Maybe its because before Feb 2009 the last time London had snow bad enough to effect travel was early in 1991. Thats a full 18 years gap. So some bright spark will invest lots and lots of money in preparing for snow, and then its wasted for nearly 2 decades when it could be spent on renewing the system. Hmmmm a few day’s inconvenience for 18 years of actually a roughly working service. Extreme weather conditions have a knock on effect. Get over it, bellends

3. “Snow Days” – I fucking hate that term. Wow a day with snow. Everyone can go on about “sun days” and confuse the fuck out of thick people. Snow days are especially used by Teachers, who become irritating by their constant mentioning of it. Looks like another excuse to get another day off. Well gang, I not only tried to get into work, I made it too. Mind you a lot of other people in a lot of other professions used the excuse – so much so for the British battling spirit – the blitz was a LONG time ago eh 😉

4. Shoppers – I realise how easy it is to panic people. Amazingly easy. People have been stockpiling food, and shops are going bare. Do people realise that actually if you had no food and ate nothing for the time the snow will be here, you will not die. You may get a bit thinner, which lets face it, after Xmas is not really a bad thing. Instead the news makes you panic like the 4 minute warning prior to a nuclear holocaust, and people shit themselves. I’d love to work on the news. I’d never get bored, scaring the shit out of people who can’t think for themselves

5. People. Yes, it will always be a crowning glory of a rant. It seems that some people lead such insipid little lives that they have to talk about snow ALL the time. I’ve lost count of how many facebook status i’ve read saying something along the lines of “Let it snow (repeat ad nauseum)” or “Whoop whoop snow” etc etc. Great. You are commenting on a natural phenomena. Probably the same people who tell everyone they are tidying their flat and have just eaten a yummy roast. Probably one of the reasons I tweet more and more. At least there you can follow the people you want to – ones who are interesting. The more I look on Facebook, the more superior I feel. There’s been a vague attempt at making females not talk about snow by getting them to say what colour bra they are wearing. Sounds like a perv to me. Maybe I’m being a little harsh, knowing the great british obsession with the weather. Maybe, just maybe, I’m glad I’m not British